Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The C-Word

Sunday morning Nut woke up in A Mood. Capital letters needed. Granted she has been waking up this way for a while now - Terrible 2's, anyone? - but that day she had an especially strong desire to make everyone's lives hell. I'm standing in the kitchen after a particularly brutal fight over candy when she comes in, looks at me with a glint in her eye and says, "Princess cunt." Uhhhhh.... what? Confused, I asked her to repeat herself. Eyes narrowed, she accusingly spits it out again, plain as day. "Princess. cunt."

Many thoughts ran through my head: She must have felt pretty strongly about her desire for Hershey Kisses. Where in the hell did my toddler learn THAT word? And how does she know the practical application of it? Should I scold her? If I make a big deal, she'll use it more out of spite.

Finally I took a deep breath and told her it wasn't nice to use that word and that it hurt Mommy's feelings. I even pretended to fake cry. Making Mommy cry really seems to strike a chord with her. I use it often to elicit remorse from her. Don't judge. I made her sit in time out while I got Bug's breakfast ready and filled up her sippy of milk. After she'd served her time, I told her to come get her drink. She ran into the kitchen, giddy as can be, yelling "Yeeeaaahhh!!! Princess cunt!!!" and pointing at her - what the helll - princess CUP. Cup. Not cunt. Whoops.


  1. This post is so. Funny. I'm at work right now laughing my ass off because I've got the awesome internal soundtrack of a tiny child shouting "PRINCESS. CUNT." Thank you.

  2. HAHAHA! My daughter used to omit "L"'s, so clock was of course, cock. So of course my husband went to Target and bought a monkey clock and hung it in the living room just for laughs. At least kids are good entertainment:)

    PS-I ADORE your blog template!

  3. Thanks gals. :)

    She uses cock for clock also. From what I'm hearing, it's pretty common and does not (as I originally thought) make my kid a comical genius...

  4. It might make Reagan a comical genius....but it is so funny to make her say "Clock" and Now I will make her show me her Princess. Cunt.