Saturday, September 4, 2010

Things that make ya go poo

I’m not sure what is causing my stomach to feel like it’s rotting from the inside out, but I’ve narrowed it down to three possible suspects: All the Sudafed, all the Pumpkin Spice lattes, or all the Prednisone.

I have been poppin’ the Sudafed like they were Pez for the last week; no problems. I mixed in the Prednisone Wednesday night; no problems (aside from acting like a fricking psycho). I mix both with a grande PSL yesterday; whooooaaaa buddy. I swear my intestines were attempting to break out of my body in an effort to wrap themselves around my neck and strangle me

I have a sneaking suspicion the culprit in the trifecta may be the lattes, but I’m living in denial. And by sneaking suspicion, I mean I’m pretty durn convinced. And by living in denial, I mean I’m still going to go run by Starbucks tomorrow morning. And by run, of course, I mean drive. Because I’m lazy. And my stomach hurts too bad to actually do any physical activity.

See, here’s the thing about Starbucks coffee: It makes me poop. It don’t know what it is. I’ve Googled it (seriously. I Google everything.), but every  thing I read points to the caffeine in it being a stimulant. I don’t drink caffeine. My lattes are decaf. What mystery ingredient makes me have to go??

After careful research (i.e. another trip through the drive-thru this evening) and successful, albeit unpleasant  results, I think I finally figured out the reason why:

My mind starts analyzing the fact that I spent $4.71 on flavored milk with a shot of coffee in it and flips out.

$5.00 on coffee? AGAIN?!? Are you SHITTING me, Nic?!?

Why now that you mention it, yes, yes I am.



  1. Cute blog!! I am now a new follower!! Nicole @ Relax and Surf Sunday!!

  2. Lol. No kidding Starbucks does the same to me.

  3. Sunday greetings, Nic!

    Following you on Relax & Surf Sunday! My Facebook fan page, “Inspire!” has quotes, poems and stories to inspire you. I’d like to invite you to stop by!

  4. I'm tempted to say the darker the roast, the more you go. But don't hold me to that - I'm too lazy to Google it today to back up my claims!

    I'm not a big Starbucks fan, but a PSL sounds quite yummy! Happy Sunday!

  5. Hi there, I'm your newest follower via Relax and Surf Blog Hop. Love how candid and down to earth you are. Sounds just like me. :)

    Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Marie (hope you'll come by for a visit sometime, I love new followers.)
    The Things We Find Inside

  6. Thanks for the heads up on pumpkin spice lattes, thankfully I can't afford them to find out. Following you from Relax & Surf.

  7. Hey Nic,

    Im new here but thought I’d give you some info you may not know.

    Caffeine inhibits an enzyme that is thought to regulate mucosal secretions in your small intestine. Secretions go up, so fluid in your bowel goes up, and if the amount of fluid in your colon is greater than the amount of fluid you can reabsorb, it will loosen your bowel. That is why coffee acts as a laxative.

    So you drink decaf? In a case study, scientists analyzed 12 samples of Starbucks decaffeinated espresso, the espresso drinks contained up to 15 milligrams of caffeine per shot. People who are trying to eliminate caffeine from their diet should be aware that popular espresso drinks such as lattes (which contain two shots of espresso) can deliver as much caffeine as a can of Coca-Cola - about 31 milligrams.

    Just thought you would like to know.. decaffeinated is not the same as caffeine-free.

    Coffee Drinking Nana!! (Patty)

  8. I SO hear you. How annoying is $4.71 coffee? Really freaking annoying. Will I be there again tomorrow morning for yet another $4.71 flushed down the toilet? Why, yes I will. Thanks for asking.
    Pumpkin Spice Lattes are like crack...and I'm addicted.
    Fo sho.

  9. omg this was SO funny lol!

    poop is a common subject in our house too - SO glad I found your blog!!!!! We are like kindred... uh... "souls" lol!

  10. So, this was a TMI for me..LOL! I wish I liked Starbucks just so it would make me go. Instead I take fiber pills. I think it is an expensive might want try something cheaper or you are gonna be broke :)