Friday, June 25, 2010

It’s Friday! Now What?

Fridays are somewhat underwhelming for me because I have nothing planned over the weekend. Lately I have been feeling uber stir crazy and it’s driving me – well, crazy. I feel like I’m waiting for something, anticipating something, and then… nothing. It’s an odd anticlimactic feeling and I don’t like it. That being said, it’s time for a little Five Question Friday with Mama M.

1. Do you know how to play a musical instrument?

Sadly, no. If I was being very immature, I would make some lewd comment about the skin flute. But I’m not being immature today. Or lewd. So please disregard. I always wished I had learned though.

2. What is your pet peeve while driving?

Oh this answer is going to require a novel.

*Not using a blinker: Really, how hard is it to flick that lever? Located to the left of your steering wheel, I’m preeettttyyyy sure those come standard equipped on all vehicles.

*Making a right hand turn on red in front of me and then driving below the speed limit: Do you know how tempting it is to NOT slam on my brakes to avoid ramming my car up your ass? Perhaps a few weeks in traction would teach you a lesson, non-driving twit.

*Side seat driving: This is dedicated to both my mother and my husband. Don’t tell me to drive and then sit and fricking criticize me. Last time I checked neither of you were a DMV instructor so SHUT IT. I’ve been driving for well over a decade and aside from one wreck that wasn’t my fault (really, other guy got the ticket), I have a superb record. Rolling your eyes and making snide comments about “women drivers” if I decide to back up and adjust in a parking spot makes me want to sucker punch you in the throat go bat shit crazy. Directing me which route to take when I’ve lived in the same damn town for 27 years and know my way around quite well pisses me off. Contrary to what seems to be your belief, I am not a moron and can get from Point A to Point B without your effed up “shortcuts”.  Oh, and telling me the speed limit is 35 when I’ve – gasp! – got the car up to 36? Yeah, that’s annoying. And it makes me want to floor it and listen to your pleas for mercy.

*Tailgating: This is my biggest pet peeve  which is why I left it for last. It literally makes me see red. Especially when I have my kids in the car. When they are not in the car, I will slam on my brakes and dare you to hit me so that I have a reason to drag you out of your car by your hair and kick the shit out of you. This has not happened yet (most likely because I am rarely in the car without a child) but look for me someday in Police Beat.

All of that makes me sound like a raging psycho, doesn’t it? Ah well. Three cheers for road rage.

3. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services?

A housekeeper!!!! What’s the point of massages and manicures when you’re going to throw your back out scrubbing toilets and mess up those pretty nails with dishpan hands?

4. Is there a song that you hear that will take you back to the moment, like a junior high or high school dance?

Not really high school, but there are quite a few songs that take me back to being 21. I heard “Toxic” by Britney Spears last night (what a classic, right?) and had an immediate flashback to not only being 21, but also very very inebriated and making out with a random in the corner of a bar dancing like a damn fool.

5. What song best represents your life right now?

Hmmmm…. time for some insight into my previous post about censoring my blog. My theme song – and ring tone - o’ the moment is Lover, Lover by Jarrod Niemann. I love the entire song, but especially the last verse. I turn the radio up way louder than necessary to drown out the bitterness that comes through when I spit the lyrics out my horrible voice whilst warbling along.

I know you used to love me in every way
but now I’m giving it up, and I'm tired of crying babe
I can't stand it no longer, it hurts me to say,
but I'm packing up my bags and going far away

And that’s all I have to say about that. For now.


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And lest I forget, Happy FRIDAY-FOLLOW! Welcome to my humble bloggy home visitors. Don’t bother taking your shoes off before entering, there’s already enough shit ground into my carpet.



  1. #1...hahaha! You would go there, wouldn't you? And, I'm with you on all of the road rage. My hubs is from CA, you've never seen road rage til you've driven with a CA driver...they are pretty much born with it.

  2. love, love, LOVED your paragraph about passenger seat drivers. this is my mother to a perfect T. my favorite is when she says "emily, you're going fast enough, you should slow down." hello mom, i'm driving 60 and the speed limit is 65!!

  3. Haha!! Here in Houston, TX we don't actually use blinkers unless someone we know is following us. It drives my Colorado native husband up the wall & makes him side seat drive.

    Love your blog.

    Happy Friday!!

  4. The only tailgating I like is at a game or a concert. But I guess that's not really the same - lol!

    Found you through Follow Friday and now follow! Have a great weekend!

  5. I know what you mean about the blinker. Zero effort to push the lever. How is that impossible!

  6. Love the road rage!

    Droppping in for Friday Follow

  7. Following back. Thanks for stopping by! :)

  8. I am SO GLAD I came over here and caught up on your blog today! I missed a few posts from a month ago. You are so freaking hilarious and I needed a laugh! So thanks for that!

    I do the same thing if people are tailgating me (of course when my kids aren't in the car). I dare them to hit me! LOL

    I hope everything is OK with you. If you ever need an ear, but don't want thousands, you know my email address.