Monday, June 21, 2010

Miscellany Monday: There’s a Snake in My Boots

In the grand scheme of my cluster fuckness, I completely forgot about my self-proclaimed new favorite thing, Miscellany Monday. Epic fail, Nic, epic fail. I’m going to pretend the clock didn’t just turn to midnight here and join in anyways.


PMS is a bitch and so am I when in the throes of it. Consider yourself warned. Do not make a right hand turn on red in front of me and then drive 15 below the speed limit. I may just have to ram my mommy mobile  through your back bumper so that I can reach you in the driver’s seat to sucker punch you in the throat, you non-driving asshat. Way to suck at life.



Dear Disney/Pixar, thanks for making Toy Story 3 so effing sad.  I felt like an idiot bawling the last 20 minutes of your animated black hole of despair. I did not come prepared with Kleenex and instead was wiping my face with a napkin that was covered in popcorn butter. Not only was I having to bite my cheek to keep from sobbing, I was also greasy. My 2 year old loudly announcing, “Mama’s sad, Mama’s crying” repeatedly during the aforementioned 20 minute span did not help matters much either. From the laughter, it appears the packed movie theater was entertained by it though.



Do not go see Toy Story 3 if you are pregnant, think you may be pregnant,  are PMS’ing, menopausal, emotional, hormonal, sappy, or HAVE FEELINGS. You will cry. If you don’t, you are either devoid of human emotions or you have testicles.

1 comment:

  1. Bahahaha! That last line cracked me up. I am a total sapp ass...I'll be sure to bring my Kleenex. And, Shrek was the same way, my 4 year old literally cried in that movie and I didn't realize that a 4 year old was capable of empathizing with a cartoon character at that age, but she did.