Ugh. Really? We’re only two days into this week?? It just doesn’t seem possible. Some randomness from our week thus far:
Poor Bug has an ear infection and has been quite the fuss butt.
Poor Nut still has that nasty case of Terrible Two’s and has been quite the toddler terrorist.
Poor Mommy has two irritable kids and has been quite the biyatch herself because all.the.crying.is.driving.me.insane.
It’s hot here. Like sweat your balls off hot. Ya know, if I had balls and all. Heat index earlier today was 112. What the frick?? I live in the Midwest, so why does it feel like I’m currently residing ON THE SUN???
Yesterday I had to take Buggy Boy to the doctor. When we left, I clamored on the jam-packed elevator with the kids for the ride two floors down. I smelled something kind of funky but before I could wonder which jerk was inconsiderate enough to drop a bomb, my toddler looks at me and proudly announces, “Mama, I tooted!!!” Fabulous. Looks like we’re going to have to work on how to properly wrinkle your nose and pretend somebody else did the deed.
Last night I loaded up the kiddos and a bunch of stale bread and hot dog buns for a trip to the duck pond at the park. Nut was pleasant to be around for a whopping 25 minutes, melting my heart by telling the ducks, “Time to eat, duckies!” and making sure she shared with the entire flock. At least I know once she has an evil empire to rule, she’ll evenly distribute rations to her minions, right? Bug must have felt left out though because next thing I know, he wings his completely-full bottle three feet across the deck, right through the slats of the railing, and PLOP, into the water it goes. Little shit. He wasn’t happy after that and Nut wasn’t either. She took it upon herself to scold him repeatedly, then turned her wrath to the ducks, shrieking “Nooooo, ducks! I take it back! Take it back! Dat’s Reid’s bahtul!!!!” Needless to say, we left shortly after.
And now I hear an unhappy baby bawling in his crib so I better go check on him. His new thing is pulling his bumper off and then sticking his limbs through the bars and getting them stuck. Yeah, I don’t get the appeal either….