Friday, July 16, 2010

Five Q Friday: Tornadoes suck. Literally.

Who’s happy it’s Friday? Yeah, that’d be me! I look forward to this day every week, only to be disappointed when it actually gets here because oh wait, I have nothing to do. But this weekend I actually have plans! Tomorrow my friend is having a psychic party…. don’t laugh… okay, go ahead and laugh, I don’t care…. and Sunday evening I am getting together with the bestie from TN and her kiddos. I’m actually doing a happy dance. I know what you’re thinking – just who is this optimistic person and what in the sam hell has she done with Nic? Fear not, I’m just in a good mood today, I’m sure I’ll return to my usual cynical self in no time. 

That aside, it’s time for some Five Question Friday with Mama M. at My Little Life


1. Do you collect anything?

No. And here is why: When I was about 13 years old, there was a phenomenon known as Beanie Babies. Having received a few for Christmas before they became “hot”, I was the proud owner of some of the earliest, rarest, most coveted creatures. This fueled the fire and I became one of those morons standing in line at Hallmark all day long, making small talk with crazy old ladies and offering up trades of some of my doubles. About a year later, I went with my friend to a place at the mall that purchased Beanies for resale. We both took an itemized listing of our “collections” for a quote. My friend was offered $200. I was offered… are you ready for this shit? $1100. Yeah. Over a thousand fricking dollars. And do you think I took it? Oh Noooooo. I decided to be a greedy little twit and hold on to them, to wait until they even more valuable. Fast forward 14 years. I’m stuck with a bag full of bean filled animals, their once lovingly placed tag protectors ripped off so that my children have better access to slobber all over them. I tried to sell them at a garage sale last year for 25 cents a piece and do you think I had any takers? Hell no. So that? That is why I don’t collect a damn thing. Except maybe dirty laundry. I seem to have a large pile of clothes that need to be washed.

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

Eric Dane aka McSteamy because hell.fucking.looooo, I would so play doctor with that man any day. Or night. Or both. Swoon.

Matthew McConaughey. I would  be more than willing to let him play the naked bongos at my house, rumored poor hygiene habits or not.

The last doesn’t really qualify as a celebrity, but there is only one other “public figure” so to speak, that makes my heart go a pitter patter like the above two: Skip Schumaker, 2nd baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals.  I don’t know if it’s the uniform or the scruffy facial hair or the fact that I spent many hours staring at his butt from the bleachers when he played outfield (although all those things definitely didn’t hurt), but I luuurve me some Skippy. Much to DH’s annoyance, I’ve even taught Nut to point at him on TV and say “step-daddy”. Bahahahaha. At least I amuse myself, right?

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

As clumsy as I am, you think I’d be covered in scars. The most noticeable one I have is on my shoulder, from a surgery I had a few years ago. It was done laproscopically so all I was left with was a semi-circular raised scar. I get asked a lot what it is, which baffles me because it’s literally maybe the size of a pencil eraser. A few weeks ago, Nut and I were eating lunch at the kitchen table. She wrinkled her nose up in confusion, ran her finger over the scar a few times and then loudly announced, “Mama’s booby!!!” Apparently she thinks I have a nipple – a nubbin for all the Friends fans -  on my shoulder. Fabulous.

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

I love pickles. If you open my fridge, you will find sweet, dill (both spears and chips), bread n’ butter, two jars of homemade, and a thing of relish. I am even one of those freaks of nature that drinks the juice.


5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?

Funnel clouds, yes, an actual on the ground tornado, no. I came close though once but luckily was convinced it was in my best interest to go to the basement since it was a) night time and b) headed towards my house.  I’m thankful DH (who was my boyfriend at that time) and his pleas of “Get in the fucking basement NOW, I’m serious! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!!!” was enough to take me off the back step where I was giving weather updates (“It’s SO still!”) and quoting Twister (“Hail! We’ve got hail!”) while the sirens were blaring. Less than three minutes later, here is what my backyard looked like, courtesy of a half-mile wide F2 tornader:

Looking back, my roomie and I never did find our lawn mower. But we did find that giant telephone pole that came from God knows where.


That wood was actually the frame to the french doors on the front of our house. They got sucked right off and wound up in the backyard. Random. I still love reading/watching anything about tornadoes, but as soon as it’s my county or my town mentioned, you will find my ass in the basement, with a heart rate near 250, crapping my pants because tornadoes? Well, they SUCK. Literally and figuratively.


Alright kids, that’s all I’ve got for today. If you want to join in – and really, who wouldn’t?? – click HERE to go link up. Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!

1 comment:

  1. I wasn't sure whose blog I was reading when I started, who are you and what have you done with Nic?? LOL! Oh, I remember those Beanie couldn't even sell them for a quarter?? That stinks..LOL! I would have freaked out with a tornado....good thing no one was hurt. Have a great weekend. Hopefully you get some good readings from the psychic.