Sunday, January 17, 2010

Need a little more better and a lot less worse....

It's funny where your life takes you. The ups, the downs, the twists, the turns. I can honestly say if you'd said to me ten years ago I would be in the place I am now, I would have laughed at you. I had plans. Big plans. I was going to move to Chicago or New York, I was going to write, I was going to get published. I was going to be a book editor. Marriage? Yeah right. Kids? Not now. Eventually, but not now. Especially not two of them. A mini-van? Heeeellll no. Yet here I sit, 27 years old, living the dream. Or so they say. I love my kids, God I love them. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world and can honestly say they make me a better person. I still sit and wonder about the what-it's though. What if I hadn't had to move back to Springfield? What if I hadn't started working at Wells and the friends I did? What if we hadn't gone out on the night I met DH?

When I was a kid, I loved those pick your adventure books. Remember those? "If you want to go to Sally's house, turn to page 15. If you decide not to, go to page 33." Sometimes I think about my life like that. There is no way to know how things will go, but I am going to trust my gut, do what my heart is telling me to, and turn the page. It isn't going to be easy, it will hurt, but it is for the best and a chapter ending means the start of a new one.

I know I sound cryptic but it makes sense to me so that's enough for now.

Still hanging in there,

1 comment:

  1. As your friend, I will support you. I will be an ear to turn to whenever you need someone to talk to, if you need someone to hold your hand (figuratively speaking) I will be that person. I am there for you no matter what, just ask. You are an amazing mother. You are a strong willed woman who can do anything and everything! Be an inspiration to those cutie patooties. :)