Naptime Meltdown

Please excuse me while I scream. I need to vent and this is my only outlet.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ahem, I feel a bit better. My kids are trying me today. And when I say trying, I mean their goal is to drive me fucking insane. And it's working. Bug won't nap, but is so tired he's done nothing but fuss and whine for the last hour and a half. I finally gave up and put him down on the couch with his pillow and blankie and instead of giving in to his drooping eyes, he keeps fighting it and trying to divebomb off the couch head first. Nut isn't doing any better with nap time, I swear to God, I'm about to rip my hair out from her. So far in the last 2.5 hours (yeah, that's how long we've been going around and around today), she has taken every toy out of her toybox, dumped her hamper, threw her entire laundry basket of clean clothes around the room, pulled shit out of her dresser, took all the plastic bins out of her cubby (after dumping them of course), and - my personal fave here - gotten ahold of a marker and colored all over her fecking wall, bedroom carpet, outfit, and baby gate. I asked her where she got a marker from (I hide them and they are only used under supervision) and she leads me to her sock drawer where she's stashed all kind of crap: Chuck E. Cheese tokens, a necklace of mine, Scotch Tape, three markers, and a screwdriver. WTF? She has bags under her eyes, is grumpy as can be, but is still upstairs raking havoc. I need to pick up and sanitize the toys, get my kitchen cleaned up, and quite frankly, put on a damn bra. Bug puked down my shirt earlier so I ran down to the laundry room to change only for the doorbell to ring ten seconds earlier. I didn't have any clean ones in the dryer so I answered my door (to keep from the bell ringing again and waking the kiddos I babysit)and talked to an AT&T salesman for ten minutes in a smelly shirt while my girls hung free. And it was kind of cold. *sigh* It has been One of Those Days. Capital letters intended. Thank God it also coincidentally Wine Night, which is a great remedy for One of Those Days.