Potty Training:

Sucks. I have the most stubborn child in the world, I swear. Nut's first time using the potty two weeks ago has been her only time. She'll sit on it - for ten seconds - but that's it. The last few days she has taken to removing all her clothes and stripping her diaper off. When I tell her she needs to come with me to get a new diaper, she tells me, "Diaper stinky." After catching her running around the house in the nude three times before 9am this morning, I thought maybe I'd try her on the training underwear Gerber makes. I put them on her, went to go change the baby's diaper, and next thing I know, here she comes toddling out of her room.... with the underwear on her head. Serioulsy. I asked her what she was doing and she pointed and said, "Hat!" Um, no. I got them back on the part of the body where they belong and brought her potty downstairs into the living room, but she wanted no part of it again. I think we made some progress though because after fifteen times of asking her if she wanted to sit on it, she finally said yes - and then peed on me as I took her to the chair. *sigh* It should be an interesting day. Bug is constipated from teething (3 teeth at one time this round) so the GI's nurse had me give him some prune juice. God help me when that serves its purpose....

Happy Birthday, Nut!!

I can longer say that I have two under 2. At 6:24 am, my first baby turned 2. It doesn't seem like it's possible that she's been in the world for 730 days. It really makes me weepy to think about; unlucky for me that every birthday of hers will fall when I'm PMS'ing. Tonight we are keeping it low key; I'm making her favorite dinner - enchiladas - and baking her a pink cake. We did the whole birthday party on Sunday, but I kept back two of her gifts for her to unwrap this evening.

This is a short post, but I just wanted to wish my girl a happy birthday. More later.

Extra! Extra!

You know you're a mom when you feel like standing on the rooftops and yelling out your kids' activities like it's a major newstory:

BREAKING NEWS: NUT USED THE POTTY!!!

BUG CAN EAT OATMEAL!

BUG CAN POOP AFTER EATING OATMEAL!

I'm sure our new neighbors wouldn't appreciate that though. They probably still wonder if we're WT because we haven't fully unpacked the garage so we can park in it yet. Imagine if I was up on the roof hollerin' like a loonie about bodily functions. Plus it's probably only really exciting news to me.

R and the potty - that was completely unexpected. She likes her potty, LOVES it in fact, but she thinks it's fun just to strip down and sit on it without actually using it. I turn the water on, use the big toilet at the same time, put her baby doll on it, but to no avail. She wants to bring it downstairs and eat pancakes on it (yeah, that happened. twice.) instead. Yesterday she stripped off her dress up clothes, took off her diaper, and started darting around the house. I told her to come upstairs so we could put a new diapy on, but thought oh what the heck and asked her if she wanted to sit on her potty. She got all excited and sat down on it.... and used it. I acted like a crazy lady, jumping up and down, high fiving her, telling her how I proud I was of her. She just looked at me like I was an idiot and went to her bedroom. Oh potty training is going to be so fun with that one....

On to Bug's update. He has been going through his powdered gold formula at an alarmingly fast rate. I called the GI Monday morning because the little vulture had gone through 24 oz of formula between 9pm Sunday night and 8am Monday - that was a loooooooong night. It wound up being almost 50 oz in a 24 hour period. I'm suprised he didn't poop out a receipt. But I digress. The nurse called me back later that afternoon and said that Dr. A gave the thumbs up for infant oatmeal. THANK GOD. They told me to try him on no more than 2 tsp per day this week to see how he handles it. I can barely believe it as I write this, but he actually handled it well. He had some for breakfast the last two days and dinner last night and has not been screaming, gassy, or extra fussy. He has poo'ed twice without any incident. He is currently in the midst of a 2.5 hour nap where he hasn't woken up to eat. He only got up twice last night. Dare I say that he is going to make the move to solids without any issues? Knock on wood, cross your fingers and toes.....

Don't: Eat That, Touch That, Poop in the Tub

Last night I tried to be clever and resourceful and give both kids a bath at the same time. I filled up the tub, Nut climbed in, helped me fill up her brother's little tub and I put him in. I was feeling SO proud of myself for thinking of that great idea. They both got to play and I was going to be able to cut bath time in half, right? Wrong. 30 seconds after putting Bug down, he pooped. Isn't that how it always goes? Litte bits of poo were floating in his tub, Nut is trying to splash him and I'm yelling, "No! Don't touch that! Get your hands out of your mouth!! Your brother pooped! Yucky!" and she's laughing. When she finally saw what I was talking about, she was not a happy camper: "No NO Reee! No poo poo!" and out she hopped. And then proceeded to slip and fall. She's howling, the baby's howling; all hell broke loose. I had to clean him off, drain both tubs, get out the Clorox, scrub down the toys, refill the tubs and start all over again. For his final trick, Bug decided to pee on me when I picked him up to put him back in the water. It was a great night. My dreams of being Super Mom went down the drain. Literally.

Give me the matches

I'm throwing the following items into a burn pile, I swear:

1. Nut's winter boots. I am SO fricking sick of her wearing them at all times. My feet get stepped on, she walks all over the baby's toys, they fall off constantly, and poor Bug hasn't gotten a decent nap in days because his sister has a meltdown any time the boots aren't immediately produced and put on her feet.

2. Her footie pajamas. The adoration level is on par with the boots. I feel like all I've been washing are the stupid footies. Try to get her dressed, she flings herself to the ground. Try to put other pajamas on her at night, she runs away. I have had to hide them in her hamper because she kept digging them out the dirty laundry and trying to put them on.

3. Thomas the Tank Engine DVD's. I fucking HATE that blue train. Pardon the strong language but that was the only word I could think of to communicate how much I dislike that show. The very mention of it sends pure loathing coursing through my veins. Into the fire they go!

It seems like I've been bitching a lot lately about R. I love my little red-headed terror, don't get me wrong -that goes without saying. It's just no offense to her, but almost-2-years is a hellava lot more irritating to a mother than almost-6-months. Baby R is a prince in my eyes just for reducing his daily pooping by 70%. Three cheers for the new formula!

I had more to write, but as if to illustrate my point, Nut is rolling around on the floor fake crying because one of her boots fell off. I really need to find some baby ear plugs..... or lighter fluid.

Dear TV execs...

The kids have taken over. Slowly but surely I have come to the realization that the television is no longer mine. I don't know why we pay for 250+ channels when we only watch 3 of them. Children's programming: can't live with it, can't live without it. Well I could, I just couldn't live with my toddler screaming about the lack of Nick Jr. So keeping in the spirit with that, below is a list I've compiled of some episodes I would love to see.


1. Thomas and the High-Speed Derailment. Join Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends for loads of fiery fun on the island of Sodor.

2. Dora Gets Deported. Backpack can't get her out of this mess. The Map knows where to go - and it's back home to Mexico.

3. Diego and the Rabid Dog. Watch as Diego earns a new Animal Rescue badge - posthumous.

4. The Wonder Pets: Ming Ming and the Speech Therapist. Seriously. The speech impediment has to go.

5. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Donald Gets Arrested. The duck finally has to own up for never wearing pants.

There goes the baby's college fund....

Baby R (aka Bug) had his appointment with the pediatric GI on Monday. They confirmed his milk protein intolerance and decided to switch his formula due to "intestinal malabsorption". I have no idea what that means, it was just marked under the diagnosis box on the sheet they sent me home with. I'm guessing that's the fancy medical term for Your Kid Poops A Lot. Either way, the $26 a can Nutramigen he was on before seems downright cheap compared to the Nutramigen AA they switched him to. That stuff averages about $50 a can. And not a can that will go a long ways either - roughly about 2.5-3 days. I feel like crying. How does it cost more for a 16lb infant to eat in a week than it does for the rest of the family members' grocery bill for almost the entire month??? I just don't know what to do with the little guy. He is downing formula like crazy because he's hungry, but the doctor wants me to hold off on giving him any solids until they can figure out exactly what the deal is. It makes me sad. He grabs for our food all the time and instead I have to tell him no and offer up some more gag-inducing smelly formula. Patience. If the little guy can have it, so can I......